Post by ~*Cathy*~ on May 13, 2009 23:13:14 GMT -6
I posted this at my PR board, but a couple of you don't go there (anymore) and I'd really love to hear your thoughts. I just copy/pasted it, so that's why it reads as though there are a lot of people I'm talking to. LOL Cuz I am. LOL
Guys, I really need your advice on something, and this is the only place I have to come and talk about it, as the person it pertains to is a friend of my LJ, so I can't ask there.
As several of you know, we had a teenage friend living with us for the last two years. He joined the Army and left back in November for Boot Camp and then AI training. He graduates next Thursday, and the hubby and I are going to MO and will be bringing him home with us (he's going to collage here in Btown). His mother and sister were supposed to be going (together), but his mom's "backed out at the last minute" according to his sister. She's contacted me (via IM), asking if she can just ride over with us, and help us pay for gas. This is what I need help with.
I want to say 'no' to her really, really bad, but I feel like shit (sorry for the language) for doing it. I know it would mean a lot to Nolan for her to be there (they're very close -best friends), and I don't want to disappoint him, and him be upset with me. I've told her that I will let her know by Sun. night, as I've really got to think about it.
Those of you who know me really well, know how I feel about this girl. The hubby can't stand her either, and he's always uncomfortable when she's around. For those of you who don't know me well, here's a little bit of how I feel about her.
She's 21 years old, and very immature (acts like she 14 or 15 still). I could give you lots of examples of immature things she's done, but I don't want to waste your time any more than I already am. I can't stand being around her for more than 10 mins, without wanting to slap her upside the head. She's loud. She's sort of obnoxious. She's lesbian, and while I don't have a problem with that at all, it's all the jokes she's constantly making regarding it (part of the reason the hubby's uncomfortable around her). I don't like to hear straight people make the kind of jokes she does, and I certainly don't like it when she's doing it in front of my kids either. (Yeah, she doesn't edit what she says even when my kids are around.
) She takes advantage of everyone who's willing to be nice to her -especially our Grandparents (yeah, it's a long story, but we share Grandparents, even though we're not related by blood). I've done her several favors before, and yet I don't bother to ask her for anything, as I know she wouldn't help out (unless it somehow would benifit her too). I could go on and on, but I won't.
The drive is six and a half hours, and I really don't think I could handle that long with her -in the confines of a car, when I can't stand being around her for 10mins without wanting to slap her. The hubby and I would make the trip in silence (him driving, me reading), but if she comes, she won't shut up the whole way. She can't just sit and be quiet, she's always gotta be talking. *sigh*
Another thing is the hotel room. I have no idea if she's got a room booked somewhere, but there's no way in HELL she can stay with us in ours. First of all, it's only got one bed, and second -it's going to be the last night we'll have to be alone without a teenager around (if you get my meaning
lmao sorry, TMI?) Anyway.... LOL
Being pregnant, I'm a tad bit grumpier than normal too, and so it takes less for other people to piss me off. That doesn't bode well for the trip either. I don't need to spend the whole two days we're gone in a bad mood.
Now, I won't feel bad if she gets mad at me for saying no. I can deal with that, as I really don't care what she thinks about me. I can happily live my life without ever seeing (or talking to) her again. (Yeah, I know, I'm a bad person. ) It's Nolan I will feel bad for disappointing. I've not had a chance to ask him if he would be upset with me for not bringing her, and that bothers me. I'm not sure if he'll get a chance to call home again before we head over there. He knows exactly how I feel about her, so maybe he wouldn't blame me, but then again, I don't know.
The girl is 21 years old, she has her license now, so I'm sort of of the opinion that she could go herself if it's something that really means a lot to her. She's got a job, so she's got her own money for gas and food, and she has her own vehicle now.
Well, I think I've rambled enough about it. I would really love to know what you guys think. What would you do? Would you let her go with you, knowing that before you got out of your state limits you'd be ready to kill her? Or knowing that she doesn't have a hotel room (cuz I'm pretty sure she didn't think that far ahead), and would some how have to be put in your room?
I guess I'm wanting you to tell me I'm not a terrible person for NOT wanting to take her. LOL I'm one of those people who feels guilty for saying 'no' to people if they ask something of me. I've been raised to believe you help people out when they need it, and have a hard time saying 'no'. But, at the same time, I just can't stand her, and want to be selfish and save myself the stress of dealing with her for over two days. Plus, she's not a "needy" person, and I don't really think it would be the end of the world for her to not go. Sure, she'll be disappointed, and upset with me, but ya know, she should have known her mom wouldn't follow through (long story) and made other arrangements before now. And I didn't take her to raise! Why should I always have to bail her ass out when something goes wrong? *sigh*
I sent her an IM reply tonight, and told her flat out that the only reason I didn't say NO outright is because I know it would mean a lot to Nolan for her to be there, but that it doesn't mean I won't say no in the end. I told her she could be upset with me if she wants, I don't care, I just wanted to be honest with her about it.
So, how big a bitch am I? Your guys' thoughts would be greatly appreciated, and will help me decide what to do. I'm really torn here. *sigh*
Thanks guys for taking the time to read -and hopefully reply. You're the best!
~Cat~
Guys, I really need your advice on something, and this is the only place I have to come and talk about it, as the person it pertains to is a friend of my LJ, so I can't ask there.
As several of you know, we had a teenage friend living with us for the last two years. He joined the Army and left back in November for Boot Camp and then AI training. He graduates next Thursday, and the hubby and I are going to MO and will be bringing him home with us (he's going to collage here in Btown). His mother and sister were supposed to be going (together), but his mom's "backed out at the last minute" according to his sister. She's contacted me (via IM), asking if she can just ride over with us, and help us pay for gas. This is what I need help with.
I want to say 'no' to her really, really bad, but I feel like shit (sorry for the language) for doing it. I know it would mean a lot to Nolan for her to be there (they're very close -best friends), and I don't want to disappoint him, and him be upset with me. I've told her that I will let her know by Sun. night, as I've really got to think about it.
Those of you who know me really well, know how I feel about this girl. The hubby can't stand her either, and he's always uncomfortable when she's around. For those of you who don't know me well, here's a little bit of how I feel about her.
She's 21 years old, and very immature (acts like she 14 or 15 still). I could give you lots of examples of immature things she's done, but I don't want to waste your time any more than I already am. I can't stand being around her for more than 10 mins, without wanting to slap her upside the head. She's loud. She's sort of obnoxious. She's lesbian, and while I don't have a problem with that at all, it's all the jokes she's constantly making regarding it (part of the reason the hubby's uncomfortable around her). I don't like to hear straight people make the kind of jokes she does, and I certainly don't like it when she's doing it in front of my kids either. (Yeah, she doesn't edit what she says even when my kids are around.
) She takes advantage of everyone who's willing to be nice to her -especially our Grandparents (yeah, it's a long story, but we share Grandparents, even though we're not related by blood). I've done her several favors before, and yet I don't bother to ask her for anything, as I know she wouldn't help out (unless it somehow would benifit her too). I could go on and on, but I won't.The drive is six and a half hours, and I really don't think I could handle that long with her -in the confines of a car, when I can't stand being around her for 10mins without wanting to slap her. The hubby and I would make the trip in silence (him driving, me reading), but if she comes, she won't shut up the whole way. She can't just sit and be quiet, she's always gotta be talking. *sigh*
Another thing is the hotel room. I have no idea if she's got a room booked somewhere, but there's no way in HELL she can stay with us in ours. First of all, it's only got one bed, and second -it's going to be the last night we'll have to be alone without a teenager around (if you get my meaning
lmao sorry, TMI?) Anyway.... LOLBeing pregnant, I'm a tad bit grumpier than normal too, and so it takes less for other people to piss me off. That doesn't bode well for the trip either. I don't need to spend the whole two days we're gone in a bad mood.
Now, I won't feel bad if she gets mad at me for saying no. I can deal with that, as I really don't care what she thinks about me. I can happily live my life without ever seeing (or talking to) her again. (Yeah, I know, I'm a bad person.
) It's Nolan I will feel bad for disappointing. I've not had a chance to ask him if he would be upset with me for not bringing her, and that bothers me. I'm not sure if he'll get a chance to call home again before we head over there. He knows exactly how I feel about her, so maybe he wouldn't blame me, but then again, I don't know.The girl is 21 years old, she has her license now, so I'm sort of of the opinion that she could go herself if it's something that really means a lot to her. She's got a job, so she's got her own money for gas and food, and she has her own vehicle now.
Well, I think I've rambled enough about it. I would really love to know what you guys think. What would you do? Would you let her go with you, knowing that before you got out of your state limits you'd be ready to kill her? Or knowing that she doesn't have a hotel room (cuz I'm pretty sure she didn't think that far ahead), and would some how have to be put in your room?
I guess I'm wanting you to tell me I'm not a terrible person for NOT wanting to take her. LOL I'm one of those people who feels guilty for saying 'no' to people if they ask something of me. I've been raised to believe you help people out when they need it, and have a hard time saying 'no'. But, at the same time, I just can't stand her, and want to be selfish and save myself the stress of dealing with her for over two days. Plus, she's not a "needy" person, and I don't really think it would be the end of the world for her to not go. Sure, she'll be disappointed, and upset with me, but ya know, she should have known her mom wouldn't follow through (long story) and made other arrangements before now. And I didn't take her to raise! Why should I always have to bail her ass out when something goes wrong? *sigh*
I sent her an IM reply tonight, and told her flat out that the only reason I didn't say NO outright is because I know it would mean a lot to Nolan for her to be there, but that it doesn't mean I won't say no in the end. I told her she could be upset with me if she wants, I don't care, I just wanted to be honest with her about it.
So, how big a bitch am I?
Your guys' thoughts would be greatly appreciated, and will help me decide what to do. I'm really torn here. *sigh*Thanks guys for taking the time to read -and hopefully reply. You're the best!
~Cat~
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